knowing Him.

Hello! I’m so happy you’ve stopped by my little blog today! I was planning on writing and telling you all about the conference I attended last weekend…but instead I’m posting something I wrote right before I left. I think many of you know that life has recently been pretty hard, many unexpected twists and turns have occurred and through it all God has constantly reminded me that He is God and in all things He is good. “God is good” just keeps playing over and over in my head, and this post is a little snippet of one of the ways He has been so good to me lately.

 

Seeking Him.

In the last month I felt God constantly and rather sweetly reminding me to seek Him first. I’ve been reminded of Mathew 6:33 in many different and sometimes unexpected ways.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”

For me seeking Him has been getting to know Him better, to know and be known by Him. This concept hit me in really beautiful way that in seeking Him and knowing Him, my creator can more intimately know me as well.

I have the knowledge that He created me, that He knows my thoughts, my actions, and every hair on my head, but there is something really wonderful about being made more aware of the intimacy He offers in relationship. In knowing Him and seeking His wisdom, learning about his character and grace, I find myself becoming more honest in my prayers and petitions to Him, more inclined to share my heart. Far too often my thoughts have been, “well He’s God, so He already knows my heart, my pain, my ideas, my wants…” but He offers something so much greater as we seek Him and He seeks us.  Seeking to really know my God has been an eye-opening experience, not because I’d never thought of this concept before, but because at this time in my life, in these moments, knowing Him through His word and learning about His character and many attributes has inspired deeper faith through greater honesty and vulnerability within me. It is truly a gift to be known and heard and cared for by The One who thought me up from very the beginning.

A little more about me…

Hello All! This is another post with the Influence Conference in mind. For those of you who don’t know next Thursday I will be flying to Indianapolis to attend this awesome event. I even get to steal my brother’s girlfriend for the weekend and bring her with me. Not only am I excited about an awesome girls weekend, but every day I get to connect a little more with other women attending the conference. Blogging is one of the ways we are doing this. I first heard about this conference through Casey’s blog, which is one of my favorites. Not only is she a fellow Baylor girl, she shares her heart and her story in a truly honest and beautiful way.

So here is my addition to  “Get to know you” Part 1

1. The most played song on my ipod is….NeedtoBreathe Let us Love. As soon as I hear the opening notes to this song my heart is immediately engaged.

2. If I could only work on one project this next year it would be becoming officially licensed as a therapist! I have a passion for working with teenagers and young adults and helping them find their identity. I would love to move forward in that and begin forming my own practice.

3. I think my families favorite stories about me all seem center around my fear of bugs, frogs, and spiders. When I was very little (like age 2) my dad told me I had a big green bug on my head and I went ballistic. Luckily his mom was there too, so He got in trouble for that one. However, at about age 10 he hid a hot pink stuffed animal frog in my room, but told me that he had seen a real frog in there and we needed to go catch it. My whole family came into my room with me and my dad pretended to catch the frog…he then proceeded to toss it to me. I screamed and went ballistic. Needless to say I do not like having creepy crawly things on me. In both instances my dad claims he felt really really bad, but the stories are continually told…I’m sure had I not been the one being traumatized by hot pink frogs and fake bugs I would think it was funny too.

3. The best part of waking up is those few moments I have to cuddle in bed and think about my day or remember my dreams. Those few moments that are just for me before anybody else is involved, and before anything has to be done. I love those moments. I love getting to listen to music for a few minutes and read a little…sometimes from the Bible, sometimes just from a good book. It’s a time of reflection. I look forward to those moments everyday.

4. This one is tricky. The question is “what is your favorite time of day, day of the week, or month of the year?” hmmm. I love relaxing mornings that end with brunch and wonderful people…but I would have to say Sundays are my favorite days. I love Sunday. It’s generally peaceful and relaxing. I enjoy going to church and lunch with family followed by some time for myself. Even doing homework on Sundays seems a bit more relaxing (although I try to avoid this and actually have a day off). Sunday’s are just special. Well I guess I’m answering all of the questions, but I really love December. Like many people I think Christmas is amazing, but there is something about December and the coming of the New Year that fills me with excitement. If I had to pick to pick a month, it is definitely December.

Well there you have it…a little more about me 🙂 I’m so excited that this time next week I will be at Influence!

Adult Decisions

I got to spend this past weekend with a couple of my closest friends from college.  We spent one evening talking about the trials, confusions, and frustrations that were so commonplace over this past year of transitions. The conversation began something like this, “So, I’ve been making adult decisions, and it’s really hard…” to which, we all immediately sympathized, “Yes, yes it is.”

This time last fall we had recently graduated college and were all starting new ventures; new jobs, new schools, new internships, etc.  Everything was changing, but at this point we had no idea how hard the next year was going to be.  So here I am, luckily with some good friends at my side, and we have made it through the year after college.  Many times it seemed like we were barely making it, and often it seemed like we would not make it, but we did, even though it was really hard.

The thing about these so-called “adult” decisions is that they require more patience, more trust, and more love than those decisions we were making during, and right out of college.  They have required us to deeply rely on Him, wait for His timing, and fully trust that He was working everything together for our good even when we didn’t think we could get through the day – nonetheless make it to this day roughly a year later.  Yes, we are still in the midst of new possibilities, new jobs, and new places, but the difference is the way our relationship with Him has changed us.  I have watched not only myself, but also several of my close friends reach that point where you have to put it ALL in His hands, or we just wouldn’t make it.  I am so glad we got there.  Adult decisions require an adult relationship with Him, and that relationship is transforming us.  We are growing up, and we still have so much more to learn, but I am grateful for how far we’ve come this last year.  I am grateful that not only can we look back and see how He helped us, but that we can look at where we are and see how He provided.  We have fallen more in love with Him as we learn to seek maturity from the Father, and not from what the world would tell us to do.

This verse was recently passed along to me, “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11.

His presence is what brings joy; the joy that comes from doing life with Him, from needing to do life with Him.  He provides the pathway of life as we wait upon Him.  “Adult” life is brimming with a need for patience that I have never experienced before, and even though we still find ourselves waiting, and even though our lives still seem to be in flux; there is peace as we have come closer to Him, and knowing He will provide, that He wants to provide. It is from this point that we begin to make our adult decisions.

Kingdom Living.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of reading, thinking, and praying about what it means to live in the Kingdom of God.

Some of the first verse that came to my mind are

• But seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well… Matthew 6:33
• “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
• …”The time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the Gospel.” Mark 1:14
• “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these…” John 14:11-13

A few of these verses I feel like I hear so much I often miss the message. I am definitely guilty of taking them for granted.  I don’t think you can make it through any graduation without Jeremiah 29:11 plastered on just about everything, but the truth is that this verse carries power and truth, and living with this knowledge should change us.

What does it look like to live in the truth – the Kingdom of God?  To live in a way where we know that we know God has a plan that provides us a future and a hope…I often feel like “yes, I’m aware of this” but really I want that truth to change the way I live. I don’t see another option.   There’s a difference between knowledge and belief.  I want to always live in a way where my belief is changing me.

In the back of Beth Moore’s book on Security she has a salvation prayer that talks about letting the Lord do impossible things, and fulfilling your destiny in the Lord.  I want to do the impossible daily.  I want to see the impossible done.  I don’t think God calls any of us to less than the impossible.  Again, if this word is truth, then anything less than impossible just doesn’t cut it.  I want this kind of belief to change me daily. To live and walk in the Kingdom of God should change who I am.  I can’t imagine that it won’t.  I believe in great change through God; I believe that living and growing within Kingdom will yield things that we can’t even dream of – and I am so thankful for that.

Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:14 It seems likely that the path through the Kingdom will seem impossible, but because of that journey through the impossible we will not/cannot stay the same. Bring it on.

happy things

Things I’m happy for this week.

-The things I learned at the Beth Moore simulcast.  Greatly looking forward to reading her newest book about insecurity.  Very very thought provoking I’m sure I’ll be writing more about it eventually.

-Mayday Parade with my brothers on Friday!

-Reading the new books I got! {Blessed Child}

-That the 28th is the last day of classes at Wake Forest and my semester off is officially over.  I’m not sure if I’m excited about that but it’s definitely something…

-Finishing up my online classes

-getting more of my film developed from my Diana camera

-having dinner with several wonderful friends during the week.  I’m looking forward to each and every one of them very much!!

-and hopefully writing out a few of things that are on my heart.  Mostly because it’s just helpful for me to see things written out. It requires me to think through what’s on my heart critically and thoroughly enough to be able to write something (at least seemingly) coherent. I’m always surprised how much I learn by just writing my thoughts down.

-I think someday I’m going to have a very eclectic set of dishes because I just love all the different unique ones.  Especially cups.  I find them all over the place and I don’t think I could ever/or would ever one to pick just one set.

-excited to just enjoy another week.

Lately I’ve been loving this Ladies photography.  So creative and talented!! Stephanie Fay Photography

a little update…

Here’s a little update on what has been going on my life lately.

I spent the fall semester working on a master’s in religion at Wake Forest University in Winston Salem, North Carolina.  It is such a beautiful part of the country! I was so blessed to be able to enjoy fall on the east coast, and enjoy the company of some wonderful visitors!

Leaves Changing in Winston Salem

Kate and Allison visit NC

The Holidays were wonderful! I got to spend time in Tulsa with my family (especially my little brother).  So much fun! We traveled to Missouri to see extended family and enjoyed spending time together.  December really was a spectacular month! One high-light my mother, and I went to see Legally Blonde the musical; I loved it! Almost made me want to try law school…haha. My mom and I also visited Wilmington, NC which was beautiful even in the winter; very relaxing.

Me and the Brother!

On our way to Legally Blonde!

The wonderful Brother again.

playing in Wilmington

January has brought about a million changes! About the time I was planning to head back to Winston for school, I began having trouble with vertigo. This had been problem during the fall semester, and it started getting worse; so I took medical leave for the semester and have been living in Tulsa.  It’s been an adventure so far…I started working at Kaffe Bona and on the very first day I fainted! Beyond embarrassing…but hopefully I’ll be able to figure out what’s causing the vertigo and now the fainting too (stress??).  I also got to take a wonderful vacation to Cabo San Lucas, which was a wonderful escape from all the snow.  It’s been really nice getting to be home, and reconnect with some amazing friends who live here in Tulsa. It’s definitely not what I planned, but I’m glad to be here.  Learning one day at time to let go and trust that the Lord has a bigger plan than anything I can understand, or plan.  Even though I might try, this life is clearly not under my control.  Learning to submit and trust the Lord.

I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted.  Job 42:2

Enjoying Cabo